Thursday, February 10, 2005

Ask Your Pal Mike

Ok, here it is.

You (yes you) leave me a question. Any question at all, mind you. And I’ll dedicate an entire post to answering it. I’ll be like Ann Landers, except I’m still alive, which makes me only a little more qualified to do this.

Be clever, be inane, be sarcastic – I’m not smart enough to tell the difference. The good thing is, I don’t have to worry about the answer being ‘correct’, because neither are you!

That said, I’ll certainly *’give it my all’ to produce quality results for you and your query.

Some examples:

  • How do I seduce an overweight person?

  • A boy in my freshman Ethics class wants to “Mushroom Stamp” me. What does this mean?

  • What’s this whole Iraq thing all about?

  • I’m serving a Spam casserole for dinner, which flavor of Mad Dog 20/20 do you recommend as an accompaniment?

Be creative. If you know anyone in your life that’s struggling with a tough, life-altering choice, send them here. The best part about it is – if I’m wrong – they’ve got a built-in excuse for the disaster that ensues.

Ask away.

*To include – but not limited to – at least five minutes of serious googling.


At 9:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 10:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice.. I'd definately re-visit for an answer. Might not be right but hey, I just want to know what you think of it. Anyway, here goes..

Question: Why is life so screwed at times? When we're on top, it seems like we're never gonna fall but why when we do fall, it never seem like we'll be coming on top back again? Nothing that we do can make us say 'ahh.. I'm on the right track'. Most of the times, we'll end up saying 'darn.. I've been at this stage before and I'm falling yet again..'.

It looks like you'll be making a dedicated post just for my part of the question. Dont worry, take your time in answering as I've bookmarked your page and I'll be doing a daily visit. Cheers! :)


At 11:43 AM, Blogger Alex said...

OK, here's a question: There are lots of words in English that end in -eer, and you can tell the root pretty easily (thus establishing some idea of the meaning of the word). For example: engine/engineer; election/electioneer; puppet/puppeteer. You get the point. So anyhow, everybody knows what a pioneer is, but what the hell is a pion?

At 11:45 AM, Blogger Rebecca said...

Hi Mike,

Here's something really boring, but I've been meaning to research it but have been too lazy to bother. So what's the deal with social security? They've been saying it's going to run out for years now so should I really be concerned (I'm 24) or is everyone simply blowing a bunch of smoke up my ass?

Also, what's the deal with caller id and *69? Is it just me or do people tend to abuse it? If I didn't leave a message on your voicemail, why are you calling me back 2 hours later asking what I wanted? No, I'm not sleeping with your man, I just had the wrong number. Hmm..that's not really a question, just a little rant. Ok, I'm finished.

At 1:42 PM, Blogger Mary in the Midwest said...

What are your recommendations for obligatory Father's Day/ Mother's Day gifts from one's children to one's ex-spouse, particularly when the ex-spouse is a supreme jerk? Generally, I have found it best to choose items that appear to be nice presents to the casual observer, but are calculated to offend or annoy the recipient. Do you have any suggestions?

At 2:30 PM, Blogger Kim said...

Yes, I am in need of your help. I have a man, and I have kids, but I don't have Johnny Depp. I know he lives in France. Would it be wrong to mortgage the house, send the kids to boarding school, put my man on a cruise around the world and fly my ass abroad to hang out at the cafe near his house until he sees me and we marry? Also, I'm not all that fond of France, how can I overcome this?

At 4:13 PM, Blogger Night said...

You say i still can submit my own question for you to give an answer to (can't i?), so i'm asking.
Maybe it's a double-question, is it still being accepted?

Question: how to correctly imagine inpredictable reality (the one we are in is predictable 'cause all our actions are predicted, to simplify, we have no choice but to walk our path), and is inpredictable reality better then the predictable one?

Thanks. (and i like your blog very much, by the way)

At 6:32 AM, Blogger Jim Cota said...

So I was lying in bed yesterday with an ice pack on my face, thinking about ice. I had just finished having oral surgery (no, surprisingly, not to have my foot removed), so I was swollen and grumpy and medicated. And cold. Man, was my face cold, which got me thinking about ice. I'm hoping you can help.

It's fairly common knowledge that the vast majority of the size of an iceberg is located below the water line. So let's say that your regular household ice maker makes ice that has roughly the same composition as your basic iceberg. Plunk a chunk of ice into a glass of water and you'll notice that only the thinnest slice of the cube is poking its icy little mast above the waterline. Here's my question: Is this ice cube and its relative position to the water line in my glass a general representation of how an iceberg of the same composition would "float" in the ocean? (For the purposes of this question, please assume that I like to drink really salty water.)


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