Wednesday, February 02, 2005


I loved Thriller.

I say this because I assume there are people out there that didn’t, or are too young to have been exposed firsthand to one of the most significant works of music in the latter part of the 20th century. And hey, I’m not afraid to admit it. I can still remember watching Michael’s performance on the ABC special Motown 25: Yesterday, Today, Forever – he broke out the moonwalk and everything changed – it was nuts. From 1983 – 85, there was no one hotter.

Of course, living under a microscope isn’t an ideal situation for normally adjusted people – and ‘normally adjusted’ is a whole world away from Michael.

I’m not writing this to defend him – I’m sure his Cracker Jack team of legal experts will handle that. Nor am I writing this to convict him – I assume the jury will handle that, if the evidence provided is compelling enough. Heck, I’m not even going to crack jokes at his expense* – pretty low hanging fruit and not worth the effort. Let’s instead talk about the kids.

I’ve watched the children come and go over the years: Emmanuel Lewis, Macaulay Culkin, Bubbles, as well as myriad less-hyped but equally precocious youngsters – all basking in the glowing star that is Michael. For a kid, I can only assume that this must be cool, I mean he’s the King of Pop, I’m betting he’s springing for seconds on ice cream – probably with nuts. If I’m a kid, and I’m making the decisions –that’s the guy I’m hanging out with; the one with the flippin’ amusement park in his backyard.

Here’s the thing though, I’m a kid – I don’t make my own decisions, right?

Let’s see… whose job is that again?

To protect me, keep me safe from harm…

…it’s coming to me…

…give me a minute…

…ahh yes… my parents!

I’m no Psychologist (although I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night), but I have to question the decision of “Why yes, Billy can certainly go over to your house and play with you Michael! As a bonus, we’ll throw in his little brother Tommy. What’s that? No we don’t have any Vaseline, why do you ask?” There’s just something peculiar about adults that like to spend an inordinate amount of time with children – I’m not saying there aren’t instances where there’s an innocent motive (teachers, day care professionals, Catholic priests) – I’m just saying that, as a parent, you’re probably better off being a bit cynical.

In 1993, the first legal complaint was brought against Michael. While it was settled out of court for around 15 million, it did produce some interesting court documents. Smoking gun indeed.

So you’re a parent, post-1993, and Michael Jackson asks to spend some quality time with your son. You’ve heard about the accusations because, let’s be honest, you don’t live under a rock. You have a responsibility to do what?

  1. Chaperone the event.

  2. Make sure they’re back by dark.

  3. Buy the Merlot.

  4. Make an imprint of your Uggs in the malleable plastic that is Michael’s face.

The correct answer is obviously “D” – although “D”, followed by “C” is acceptable if you’re serving red meat for dinner.

All I’m saying is this – he may be guilty, he may be innocent. It’s irrelevant though, be a good parent and keep your kids away. It’s not worth it if you’re wrong.

*I’m lying here. In my defense, it’s nearly impossible not to.


At 11:29 AM, Blogger Sapphire's Soul said...

THANK YOU! Can I get an Amen?

Anyone who lets their child alone with him (no matter how much a pop-music genius he is/was) is just nuts and their parenting skills need to be questioned.

At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder how many parents thought, "Hey--let's let our son be abused and emotionally scarred for life--I bet we can get a whopping settlement out of it"!

At 3:23 PM, Blogger Deek Deekster said...

innocent until proven otherwise, i think the law is... ? not that i like the plastic-faced freak but hey!

At 4:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

While it's obvious that Michael's got a lot of problems and needs some help, I find it hard to see him as more than a deluded adult who thinks he's a kid. I hope he is innocent of the things he's being accused of.

That being said, the parents are absolutely at fault for letting their children spend the night at MJ's house in the first place.


At 6:31 PM, Blogger Fidget said...

I loved Thriller as a kid, had the VHS and everything... but that was back when he was black and didn't look like a Mr Potato head reject

At 11:41 PM, Blogger Jay said...

I love/loved his music. But I don't think there's any question that he is mentally unwell. Forget guilty or innocent, this guy needs help. He needed it a long time ago.
I don't "blame" the parents, you never blame the victim. If something bad happened, let's blame the bad guy. But I totally agree that parents in general need to be more responsible for their kids. If there's a seed of doubt, why risk it? And in this case, there ought to have been not just a seed, but a whole watermelon of doubt!


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