Thursday, February 03, 2005

Source of Power


Excerpts taken from MSNBC article here




The merchandising-minded spiritualists at the trendy Kabbalah Center are launching a new Kabbalah energy drink. And they’re hoping that Kabbalah devotee Ashton Kutcher will be the face of the new beverage, which they’re targeting to mass market, non-Kabbalah consumers.

“We’re going after the Red Bull market,” spokesman Darin Ezra told The Scoop. “But Kabbalah Energy Drink tastes better. And it’s infused with Kabbalah water, which is holy water.”

The product has been launched in a very limited market in Southern California, and will go wider shortly, with a major media campaign of radio, print and television and the tag line: “Source of Power.” Does this foreshadow a whole line of Kabbalah products? Say Kabbalah breakfast cereal and breath mints? “If it’s successful,” the spokesman says, “There will be more Kabbalah products.”



Wow, where to go with this one…. I’m nearly giddy.

Let me just say; I approached the Vatican years ago with a surefire idea for something similar.

Baptismal Blast – a high energy sports drink that will infuse your game with the Holy Spirit! It’s the New Testament in sports drinks – available in Mary Magdalene Red, and John the Baptist Blue. Drink it, or go to Hell.

Honestly, I think they were ‘on board’ until the last sentence – apparently the ‘Hell’ thing was a bit over-the-top. It was clear that the Vatican officials had never taken a Marketing class.

Promotion in religion is an interesting phenomena – I mean they need consumers of their product/service just as much as the next business, right? I sometimes wonder if the main-stream religions will make it, they just don’t seem to understand the need to reach out to new demographics (at least in the industrial world, I’m sure they’re building missions in third world countries like mad ). Or, they do understand, but are handcuffed by morality.

Lucky for us, there are plenty of new* religions out there that put marketing before morality.


*Please don’t respond by telling me that these religions are not, in fact, new at all – but have been around for thousands of years. I’m using ‘new’ here in terms of public conscious.



6 Comments:

At 7:25 AM, Blogger Jim Cota said...

I think you're exactly right... every good marketing student knows that "Drink it or go to Hell" is a clear-cut form of backing the hearst up to the door. Hell, if you're not going to sell it with sex (and I'm certain that's a bad idea for Baptismal Blast), then you're nearly forced to employ some dread "buy it or else" techniques.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger T0bI@H said...

What a scam..I can't beleive that people have to "sell" their religion. It seems like just a fad to me. Ever since Madonna and Britney have worn the braclets more and more people have gotten them too. Just to be "fashionable".
Like your blog!

www.starrysconfess.blogspot.com

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger Saint Nate said...

Baptismal Blast ... that's great.

I wonder how long until we see one for Muslims called MeccaCola ... or a Hindu-targeted drink called CasteUp ... or, for that matter, BuddhaBull.

Unfortunately, it's only a matter of time before the Scientologists will try to cash in with Bubbly Berry BrainWash.

 
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